Can't Hold Back
by like damn
Summary: Troyella. "It doesn't matter, Shar. He loves you. He's getting married to you. It's been his plan ever since we were seven. Finish school, get a scholarship to UCLA, draft to the NBA, and get married to you. He doesn't love me like he loves you..."


**Summary:** TxG. "It doesn't matter, Shar. He loves you. He's getting married to you. It's been his plan ever since we were seven. Finish school, get a scholarship to UCLA, draft to the NBA, and get married to you. He doesn't love me like he loves you...

I've had this idea for a while… really long while, I was so lazy to finish it or post it up because I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this LMAO. Anyways hopefully you guys will like this one-shot, I really liked the idea of it but then once I got to the ending it was all "ew omfg wtf" but whatever. Haha. I guess you can say it's kinda like Nate/Blair from Gossip Girl – NO I DON'T SHIP THEM, WALDASS FTW. I mean the way they had a plan that they were going to marry each other and crap.

**Dedication:** For those who have read AND reviewed 'White Horse'.

**Disclaimer: **Yeah I totally own High School Musical. /endsarcasm

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**CAN'T HOLD BACK**

'_I've come to accept  
The things that I see  
I've read every word, every line, everything...  
Just say what you will  
Just tell me I'm scared  
I won't let you down for the moment I'm in…'_

- **Amber Pacific; **_**Can't Hold Back**_

He paced back and forth in his dressing room. In exactly three hours, he was going to get married to a girl he told himself he would get married to ever since he was seven-years-old. Sharpay Evans. Troy Bolton was sure that he loved her, right? It was love at first sight of course he loved her. He had to get married to her. He had to love her. He had to be with her. All because of a plan he thought about ever since he was seven. That was just the thing though, marrying Sharpay wasn't what his heart wanted; it was something he was thought to have wanted because it was etched into his head for so many years. And because of that her parents had decided to make it like an arranged marriage. His parents were against it at first but if their son was sure it was what he wanted, they would support it.

Troy knew his parents didn't approve of this "plan" of his. To be honest, Troy didn't even know why he thought of it in the first place. He was seven-years-old for crying out loud. He didn't know better. Troy could remember the piece of paper he had written Sharpay in his messy seven-year-old writing telling her that when the time was right, he would marry her when he'd be a famous basketball star and she'd be an actress they would live together in a house with five kids and a dog.

Growing up his friends teased him about it. Chad Danforth thought it was stupid for him to think that she would marry someone like him. They clashed like oil and water they weren't supposed to get married. Chad made such a fuss about it and the only person who didn't make a big deal out of it was his best friend since he was three-years-old. Gabriella Montez.

Gabriella.

'_Gabriella…'_ Troy thought as his heart broke piece by piece at the thought of her. She was his best friend, his other half, the one girl his _heart_ knew he loved more than anything else in the world. They grew up together, attached at the hip, inseparable, she had been the one to stand aside and let him rant about how much of a jackass Chad was even if they were best friends for telling him who to love and who not to love. When it came to the topic of him and his "plan" she had been silent and always pushed the subject aside and he never knew why. He was too stupid and naïve to realize what he meant to her. He was stupid to realize how much he was hurting her.

It was only a few weeks ago when he found out. A few weeks ago he realized just how much Gabriella was hurting since that fateful day when he gave Sharpay that note. A few weeks ago when Chad and his girlfriend Taylor McKessie, who happened to be Gabriella's best girl friend, confronted him in a tone they had never used before. They were sick of Troy hurting their 'little sister' or 'best friend' she didn't deserve it, she didn't deserve it at all.

He was making a mistake, he knew he was. What the hell was he thinking, writing that letter to Sharpay thirteen years ago? Glancing at the clock, Troy had a decision to make.

Follow the plan engraved into his mind since he was seven and make a few people in that church happy or follow his heart and disappoint a lot of people?

Troy hated disappointing people. Groaning, he walked out of the room where he was getting ready and walked towards the double oak doors that separated him from the biggest decision of his life. He knew what to do.

-----

Sharpay watched as the heartbroken girl in front of her sat on the loveseat couch re-arranging the flowers in the bouquet for the third time in an hour. Gabriella did not deserve this at all. Gabriella didn't deserve to get her heartbroken like this. Gabriella was the one who should be walking down the aisle and marry Troy, not her.

When Sharpay was seven, hearing Troy declare his love and marriage for her was something she was ecstatic to hear about. She was seven after all, she didn't know any better. But as the years progressed Sharpay hated the idea and as she got closer to Gabriella, she hated the fact that she would be hurting one of her good friends. It was evident in Gabriella's eyes that the love of her life was Troy Alexander Bolton. It was evident that Gabriella was hurting deep down inside, watching as her so called best friend was following this stupid plan. There had been times in high school when Sharpay would hint to Troy that Gabriella was the one he should be in love with but Troy was so hard-headed, so determined, and still liked the idea of marrying Sharpay because it had been his plan all along even if he didn't _truly_ love her.

Finish school. Get a scholarship. Draft to the NBA. Marry Sharpay Evans.

Sharpay hated this. She didn't want to marry Troy. There was one person she wanted to marry but couldn't. Zeke Baylor. Since Troy blabbed his mouth to her parents an arranged marriage was set between him and Sharpay as soon as they both reached twenty-years-old. Were arranged marriages even allowed in America? Sharpay didn't know but she went along with it. If there was one thing she hated it was disobeying her parents and as long as they wanted her to marry Troy, she would do it.

"Gabi, you've arranged that bouquet three times already," Sharpay said softly to the quiet girl in front of her. Looking up, the brunette shrugged slightly, "It doesn't look right." The blonde's head raised up a bit more and bit her lip. There was a double meaning to that simple four word statement. This whole wedding wasn't right and she couldn't agree more.

"Gabriella…"

The brunette bit her lip, holding back the tears she didn't want to shed. It was Sharpay's day, not hers. She wasn't going to ruin Sharpay's day just because she was in love with the husband-to-be. She sniffed softly, "I'm fine, Shar. It's just allergies…" she lied, giving her a forced smile. Sharpay shook her head and sat beside Gabriella on the loveseat, taking her hand into hers.

"Gabriella, I know you don't want this to happen-"

"No," Gabriella interrupted shaking her head, "I do…" she winced at her choice in words before squeezing Sharpay's hand reassuringly. "He loves you, that's all I want. He's the most happiest with you and that's all I want. I promise. I can't hold him back on that. It's what he wants."

"But what about what you want? Gabi, you know I don't want to do this. I love Troy, yes but not in _that_ way… you know I'm only doing this for my parents-"

"It's doesn't matter, Shar. He loves you. He's getting married to you. It's been his plan ever since we were 7. Finish school, get a scholarship to UCLA, draft to the NBA, and get married to you. He doesn't love me like he loves you..." Gabriella whispered, her eyes starting to get misty. She had to be strong, it wasn't going to bother her.

"But Gabi-"

"No buts, Sharpay. You're going to go up there and marry Troy. I'll be fine." the broken girl stated softly before giving the bride a watery smile, "I promise." Raking a hand through her brown curls she stood up and looked at the blonde in front of her, "Promise me you'll never hurt him, that's all I ask."

Sharpay felt a tear stream down her cheek and she nodded, at a loss for words. She watched as Gabriella made her way to the doors and she furrowed her eyebrows, "Where are you going?"

With her back facing Sharpay, Gabriella let out her tears before gripping the doorknob, "I just need some air…" she pushed the door open and collided into a strong muscular body. Looking up she stared straight into the bright blue eyes of Troy Bolton. At that point she couldn't even stop the tears from leaking out of her eyelids before she pushed passed him and headed toward the doors that led to the outside.

Troy turned and watched her leave, his heart screaming to go after her but he had some business to finish. He entered the room and looked at Sharpay who was crying silently on the couch. She didn't want to hurt Gabriella, she didn't mean too, Gabriella didn't deserve this.

He walked over to Sharpay and kneeled in front of her, wiping the tears that fell down her cheeks. She shook her head, "I can't do this Troy."

He nodded and hugged her close. After fourteen years, his pinning for Sharpay was a complete waste of time. It was as if he realized at that moment that Sharpay didn't feel right in his arms like Gabriella did, his heart didn't constrict at the sight of the blonde crying like it did with Gabriella, it was as if his whole life was a complete waste going after Sharpay - when she could've been with someone who deserved - when his whole entire world was in front of him all along.

Gabriella.

"She's always loved you, you know." Sharpay sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, glad that she hadn't put any make up on yet. "In high school I would always hint to you that Gabriella loved you but you never paid any attention. You are so hard-headed Troy and so determined on following this plan but you didn't realize how much of an affect it had on people. My parents are ecstatic, your parents just want you to be happy but you can tell they're upset, I'm doing this to make my parents proud while hurting on the inside, and Gabriella's broken… She's loved you for so long Troy, why couldn't you have seen it?"

He pulled away from her and gripped the seat in agony, wishing that he would go back in time to make sure he never wrote "marry Sharpay Evans" on that stupid piece of paper. "I think…" he started, his voice slightly cracking, "that I've always loved her."

"You have, Troy." Sharpay nodded, "It just took you so long to realize that she was what you wanted. Not only that but it has been etched in the back of your mind for about fourteen years already. Most guys, once they reached a certain age, would've probably forgotten it, but not you. You have so much determination, Troy, you have so much to give and I'm not the girl you should be giving yourself too. I love you Troy, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

"I know…" Troy whispered, "There were times when I questioned myself if I was doing the right thing and now I know I'm not. I don't know why I kept with this 'list' but then your parents arranged this marriage so I couldn't help but keep it in the back of my head."

"Do you love Gabriella?"

Troy stared straight into her eyes and nodded painfully, knowing that he had hurt Gabriella so badly and that she probably wouldn't forgive him. "I love her more than life itself."

"Then what are you doing here, Troy?" Sharpay asked, "There's a girl out there that ran out of this room, broken because the love of her life is marrying someone that isn't her."

Nodding, Troy stood and kissed Sharpay's forehead, "You going to tell everyone or will I have too?"

Sharpay smiled, "I will," she stated softly before standing up, "You've got a girl to catch. I'll tell everyone what's going on and I need to talk to a certain baking basketball player."

Troy grinned and nodded again, "Thank you Sharpay." he whispered and she nodded back to him before brushing passed him and walked out the door. Troy sighed to himself before taking a look outside, noticing that dark clouds were starting to form. He could see Gabriella underneath a shady tree and he dashed out of the room.

There was no way he was going to let her go this time. No fucking way.

-----

Gabriella sobbed as she leaned on the maple tree, wiping furiously at her eyes. She couldn't take it anymore, all the pain and hurt that Troy inflicted on her, she couldn't stand to watch him devote his life to someone else when she wanted nothing more than to run up to him and beg him not to marry her.

"Gabriella!"

Her head turned and she saw Troy running towards her, ignoring the rain that started to fall from the dark sky. It didn't matter to him, he had to get to her. Gabriella shook her head and started to run away and Troy pushed his legs to go faster. She wasn't going to get away from him. She made her way on an empty sidewalk before he called out her name again over the thundering rain.

"Gabriella!"

Her head whipped around, "No, Troy… go back and marry Sharpay!" she exclaimed her hair and dress clung onto her body because of the rain that plummeted down on her. "You've wanted this since you were fucking seven, Troy. Go back there and fulfill your dream!"

"First, tell me how you've felt these past thirteen years, Gabriella!" Troy roared walking towards her, "I am not going back until I hear what you've got to say!" He wanted to hear it for himself. This was it. Chad, Taylor, Sharpay… they all said she loved him but now he would hear it for himself.

Gabriella could feel her heart thumping wildly in her chest. All the anger and frustration and hurt she had with Troy wasn't going to be bottled up inside of her for much longer.

"Fine!" she yelled, "You really want to know how I've felt, Troy?! Fine! I've hated this! All of this!" she exclaimed tears pouring down her cheeks burning onto her skin like acid rain. "I've hated the fact that you said you were going to marry Sharpay since we were seven! Why?! I don't fucking know why! But you were so fucking happy I couldn't tell you how I felt! You have no idea how much it hurt, Troy. You promised you would never hurt me but you did! You took my heart and basically stomped on it when we were seven!

"Then when we got to high school I wanted you to look at me not like a little sister or a best friend but you were so hung up on Sharpay – who by the way, doesn't even love you since she's only doing this for her parents – that I realized I didn't and would never have a chance with you. You were so intent to marrying Sharpay and you have no idea how much that killed me. It wasn't like I was going to be forgotten, I wasn't scared about that. I was scared because I didn't want to have these feelings for you, Troy. Everyone in high school and there in the church attending the 'Bolton-Evans' wedding, know how much you mean to me but you were so fucking blind to see what was in front of you all along!

"I've tried to move on Troy but it's hard. You notice how these past few years it's been hard for me to find a guy and stick to him because every single one of them reminds me so much of you and my heart can't take that! These past few weeks… I've tried so hard to forget the fact that you were going to marry Sharpay and I'm done trying. I can't do this anymore. I can't..." Gabriella stopped before sobbing uncontrollably and felt on the wet pavement. She didn't care if her bridesmaid's dress got wrecked. When the love of your life was getting married to someone else, you didn't really care. "Just go, Troy..." she whispered, sniffing loudly as she tried to regain her breath. "All I wanted was for you to love me just as much as I loved you… was that so much to ask for?"

Silence over came the brown haired blue-eyed man as he felt his heart break into pieces at her confession. All this time. All this Goddamn time and he was so stupid and so fucking blind. He didn't deserve forgiveness from her after all the pain he put her through but he needed her to forgive him. Now that he realized she was his everything, he needed her. He needed her like the air he breathed and if she rejected him now he would never ever forgive himself.

"I'm sorry." he whispered saying the first thing that came to him. "I put you through so much pain and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness. I was so blind and stupid to realize that what I wanted was in front of me all along. As cliché as falling in love with your best friend sounds, it happens and Goddamn it Brie I love you with everything I have in me.

"I had this plan that I wrote when I was seven, then once I reached high school I second questioned myself. But then Sharpay's parents arranged this marriage and my future was set. Never once did I think about how you felt about it, how my parents felt… I'm an idiot, Brie, I know I am. You were always there for me when I needed you and the only thing you wanted from me was to love you." Troy felt tears fall down from his eyes and watched as the brunette in front of him covered her mouth to try and stop herself from sobbing.

"I don't deserve you and I don't deserve your forgiveness but I need you now." he stated quietly, "I'll need you now and forever until my dying day. You're everything to me, Gabriella."

Gabriella shook her head, "I find that hard to believe, Troy. So what, after fourteen years you think it's okay for me to forgive you with open arms? I've been through hell and back watching you get ready for this wedding. I'm done." she turned on her heel and crossed the street to where her car was, walking away from Troy and the last fourteen years of her life.

"Gabriella…" He wasn't going to let her go even if it killed him. He watched her go and she didn't realize a car was coming straight at her at full speed. "Gabriella!" he yelled, watching her freeze at the sight of the car once she realized it was heading straight for her. He ran towards her tackling her to the ground onto the sidewalk, making sure he landed on the ground before her so that she didn't get hurt, as the car zoomed by.

She looked beneath her and stared straight into his eyes. He saved her. His shaky hand reached for her face and wiped the dirt that was underneath her eye.

"Thank you…" she whispered softly. Troy nodded and held her waist a little tighter, "You can forgive me or you don't have too… but I'll still love you, Gabriella, regardless. You've been by me through everything and I know that I've put you through so much pain but I can't hold back now. I need you and even if you don't want to be with me I'll still need you in my life, even if it has to be through Chad and Tay. I'll love you today, I'll love you tomorrow and I'll love you always." Gabriella choked slightly before tracing his well defined jaw with a tiny finger. Without even thinking she pressed her lips onto his, her hands threading through his soaking wet hair, silky tongues caressing each other as they showed each other what they could've been missing. Troy nipped her bottom lip before pulling away and stared straight into her glossy brown eyes.

"I love you." he whispered, his hand rubbing up and down her back. "I love you so much that you don't even know…" Smiling slightly, Gabriella kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you too." she whispered back before their lips fused together again. It didn't matter anymore that Troy's confession was long over due all that mattered was that he was holding her close, on the freaking sidewalk, kissing her endless.

He was blind, stupid, and full of determination to finish that list. She was hurt and broken watching him try to finish that list. But in the end, they both realized that they can't hold back on their feelings. Even if he needed someone to push him and she needed someone to tell him.

"You know…" he started, playing with her wet curls, "I think I'm going to make another list. A new one"

She squinted her eyes and looked at him closely, "Yeah?"

"Finish school. Get a scholarship-" he was interrupted when she giggled softly on top of him, "Check and check." she grinned.

"Get drafted. Not marry Sharpay Evans…" he trailed off. Gabriella raised an eyebrow, "That's it?" she wondered and he shrugged, "Be with you forever."

Her breath hitched in the back of her throat and more tears started to fall from her eyes. She smiled through her tears, "This is a shady thing you're doing Troy Bolton. You were on the verge of getting married and now you're telling someone else you want to be with them forever?" she asked. Troy shrugged again, "Well I can't hold back on what I feel now. And if it takes me forever to convince you how much I love you then so be it."

"Well you know what?" Troy looked at her questioningly wanting her to continue. "You can check that off the list." she said quietly. "I accept."

'_If it happens it happens and I'll feel the same  
Can't hold back on the choices I made...  
If it happens it happens and I'll be the same  
Can't hold back on the choices I made that day…'_

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_And it suckssssss LMAO. Ugh the ending was so hard to do and the whole plot thing sounded better in my head but it's finished and whatever. There may be an epilogue that follows on Troy's "new list" but it depends on whether or not people want it. Please R&R (:


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